SONGS I LISTENED TO DURING EACH OF THE FOREVER-LIFE-CHANGING MOMENTS IN MY LIFE

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Song I listened to the summer I turned fifteen: Radiohead’s “High and Dry.” I was studying writing for six weeks at Andover and there was a boy with a guitar singing beneath a tree on the quad. I still remember his name: Jeff Agia. He introduced me that day to Radiohead. What a crush I had. What a silly girl I was. He never knew I existed.

Song I listened to most, in high school: Keith Jarrett’s Vienna Concert, “Part 1.”

After Andover, I decided not to go back home to the jocks-and-thugs high school everyone there attends; instead, I moved to Cincinnati where I would try out a school for the arts. A Jazz Theory major, I borrowed this album from my professor and never returned it. I especially didn’t return it when I realized I was a terrible musician and should switch majors to creative writing. A parting gift, let’s call it.

Song I listened to after leaving California forever: Moby’s “My Weakness.” I went to the University of Redlands for college; it was one of the only schools with an undergraduate creative writing degree. It was in southern California, where I’d always dreamed I’d end up. Then, my sophomore year, my grandfather died. I quit college and went home for the first time in four years. I was nineteen. I listened to this song a lot, alone in my bedroom, missing all my friends. A few months later, I would move back to Cincinnati.

Song I listened to the summer before I left Cincinnati forever: Thom Yorke’s “The Clock.” I guess I’m skipping ahead several years. This would put me at twenty-seven. I knew I’d be leaving. I’d finished college, finished an MA, was working as a barista, which made me hate myself. Two degrees and working in food service, waiting on rich housewives who liked to belittle. I left.

Song I listened to after moving to Philadelphia / Song I listened to while writing We Take Me Apart: Ani DiFranco’s “Dilate.” I’d packed some bags, some books, and hit the road, stopped in Chicago and met many fine writer-folks at AWP. I went from there to Philly, to Baltimore, to New York, and back to Philly, where I got work teaching the GED to post-incarcerated men and women in a halfway house. Throughout it all, I listened to this song. I wrote my first book. I stopped listening to this song in April 2009.

It’s January 2010. Can you believe it? And for me this means it’s time to write another book. The first was an exercise in language, technical and stylistic matters; the next will be an exercise in truth and love. Here are some songs I’ve been listening to lately, among plenty of others I don’t know why I’m not mentioning instead.

Song I’ve been listening to lately #1: Bon Iver’s “Re: Stacks”

Song I’ve been listening to lately #2: Calexico’s “The Book and the Canal”

Song I’ve been listening to lately #3: Yo La Tengo’s “By Two’s”

Song I’ve been listening to lately #4: The Antlers’ “Shiva”

And, finally, songs I listen to every morning, immediately upon waking: Paul McCartney’s “Dance Tonight” and “Calico Skies.” Every morning, yes. Because they help me get started happy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IHHxYl75eu8